Child Custody Mediation in California (Required)

When California parents can't agree on custody or visitation, the court sends them to mediation before the hearing (Family Code §3170). Each court provides it through Family Court Services, it's confidential, and in some counties the mediator may also make a recommendation to the judge.

If you’re going through a custody or visitation dispute in California, you’ll almost certainly go to mediation first — it’s built into the process by law.

Mediation is required (Family Code §3170)

When a custody or visitation issue is contested, the court must set it for mediation before holding a hearing (Family Code §3170). The goal is to help parents reach a parenting agreement without a judge having to impose one.

The court provides it (§3160)

Each superior court makes a mediator available — usually through Family Court Services. Court-provided child custody mediation is generally free.

It’s confidential (§3177)

These mediation sessions are held in private and are confidential (Family Code §3177). The main exceptions are a mediator’s mandated-reporter duties — for example, suspected child abuse or threats of harm.

”Recommending” vs. non-recommending counties

This is the part that surprises people, and it varies by county:

In recommending counties, if the parents don’t agree, the mediator (a child custody recommending counselor) may submit a recommendation to the judge — after first giving it to the parents (Family Code §3183).
In non-recommending counties, the mediator makes no recommendation and the session stays confidential.

Because the model differs by court, check your local superior court before your session.

Domestic violence

If there’s a history of domestic violence, special protections apply — including the ability to meet separately from the other parent. New to mediation generally? See what is mediation. To get matched with a local family-law attorney, connect with a lawyer.

Frequently asked questions

Is mediation required for custody disputes in California?

Yes. If custody or visitation is contested, the court must set those issues for mediation before the hearing (Family Code §3170). Each superior court provides a mediator, usually through Family Court Services (§3160).

Is child custody mediation confidential?

Yes — these mediation proceedings are held in private and are confidential (Family Code §3177), though mandated-reporter duties (like suspected child abuse or threats of harm) are exceptions.

Can the mediator tell the judge what custody arrangement to order?

It depends on your county. In 'recommending' counties, the mediator (a child custody recommending counselor) may submit a recommendation to the court if the parents don't agree, after giving it to the parties first (Family Code §3183). In non-recommending counties, the mediator makes no recommendation. Check your local court.

What if there's domestic violence?

Special protections apply — for example, separate sessions can be requested so the parties don't have to meet together. The court follows a Judicial Council protocol in these cases.

Related guides

How Mediation Works: The Process Mediation usually follows a simple arc: the mediator's opening, each side shares their view, joint and private discussions (caucuses), negotiation, and — if the parties agree — a written settlement. It's voluntary, so anyone can end it, and what's said stays confidential.

Is Mediation Confidential in California? Yes. Under California Evidence Code §1119, almost nothing said or written for a mediation is admissible as evidence or subject to discovery, and participants can't be forced to disclose it — subject to narrow exceptions. Attorneys must even give clients a written confidentiality disclosure before mediating (§1129).

Mediation vs. Arbitration in California In mediation, a neutral helps you and the other side reach your own agreement and nothing is imposed. In arbitration, a neutral arbitrator hears both sides and decides the outcome — and private arbitration is usually binding under the California Arbitration Act (Code of Civil Procedure §1280 et seq.).

What Is Mediation? Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process in which a neutral mediator helps people in a dispute reach their own agreement. The mediator doesn't decide the outcome — the parties stay in control — which usually makes it faster, cheaper, and more private than court.

Child Custody Mediation in California